It’s 6 a.m., and you’re still in the middle of a deep, Nyquil-induced slumber. Suddenly, you hear an explosion of water. You shoot out of bed, follow the sound of gushing water, and try to clog the leaking pipe with the sheet you ripped off of your bed in the midst of your groggy panic. Soon the sheet is drenched in the water that’s shooting out from the pipe, and your eyes dart around the room wondering what else you could possibly do to stop your home from resembling the lost city of Atlantis. Suddenly, the situation seems almost comical.
Your wife walks into the room just a minute behind you, a look of terror and disgust in her eyes reflecting thisplumbing emergency in Lafayette, IN. What do you say?
“Are Your Pipes Clogged?”
Just thinking about this question gives me anxiety for the man who dares to make this joke during a plumbing emergency in Lafayette, IN.
“You Look GREAT Today!”
Your wife knows she looks great. While she might appreciate the compliment at another time, admiring her looks while you’re dealing with a plumbing emergency in Lafayette, IN is setting yourself up for disaster.
“What’s for Breakfast, Honey?
Be prepared to see your wife turn red in the face immediately after you ask this dangerous question. Let’s just say you’ll be eating dry cereal for the next 2 months.
“You Look Flushed!” *Uncontrollable Laughter*
Save the puns for another day. Your wife will probably not appreciate your humor (however creative it may be) if there’s water surging from the pipes in your home.
“Did You Do This?”
*Gasps of women ‘round the world* NO. If you blame this incident on your wife, you can be confident that the couch in the living room will be your bed for a very VERY long time.
“This Reminds Me of the Time….”
Of all moments in the world, do not choose this one to take a trip down memory lane. Your wife doesn’t care about the time your college roommate dumped a bucket of lemonade over your head right now. Tell her later for goodness sake.
“Get the Sticky Tack, I Can Handle This!”
Instead of trying to take care of this plumbing emergency in Lafayette, IN with random items around your home, just call a professional!
“Can I Have a Hug?”
No. The answer will be NO.
“It Smells Like Your Meatloaf”
At this point, you’re asking for a divorce, man. Your wife is going to ship you off to Hong Kong before you can utter another word.
“My Mother Could Fix This”
Please, PLEASE don’t even THINK about it.
In the instance of a plumbing emergency in Lafayette, IN, avoid making your wife angry and just call Schomers Plumbing, Heating & Air Conditioning. You’ll thank us.